The Scarlet Letter Aleph
By TOVA MIRVIS
We were in training, to be wives and PTA presidents. At the yeshiva high school
I attended, there were 18 girls in all, and classes were regularly interrupted
for mother-daughter luncheon preparations, for pizza sales, for an ill-fated
song-and-dance performance entitled Destiny:
An Inspirational Evening of Song and Dance for the Women of Memphis. (And
oh, let me tell you, it was.) We had a follow-up event, a fashion show modeling
modest garb from Loehmans, also for women only. The boys in the school, all
three of them, were forbidden creatures to be gaped at from afar, in accordance
with the school rules. We lived by these rules, and also by the dress code.
Safety pins were kept in the office to fasten shut an offending slit. We could
“rent” a skirt if ours was deemed too short. We could be sent home for those
infractions that could not be so easily repaired.
The day was divided into two, secular subjects in the morning, Judaic studies
in the afternoon, and rarely did the two ever meet. In the afternoon, we
learned law above all else. In grade school, we’d covered the more riveting
narratives of Genesis and Exodus, skipping over those parts that were too
salacious for our young ears, and by high school, we’d arrived at the more
legalistic later Torah portions. The books of the prophets were ripe with human
drama, but in our classes, those were often boiled down to the moral lessons to
be learned. David did not sin with Batsheva, I remember one teacher insisting,
and as she taught us a commentator’s legalistic explanation for this, I felt
the intensity of her need to restore whatever had threatened to come undone.
Even as I parroted back these explanations, memorized the rules with the best
of them, I quietly wondered what was wrong with me that I wanted to read
between the lines for a narrative that was meatier, juicier, more tainted as
well.
In the morning, the laws didn’t rest as heavily; they were less a presence in
our lives. We stumbled into school in our get-ups of jeans skirts over long
underwear, arriving as late as we wanted, under the illusion that there were no
rules or none we had to follow, because what could the teachers do, get the
whole school in trouble? We had classes in math, science, history, and for me,
English, best of all. My English teacher was a poet, a dreamer, a renegade
spirit blessedly out of place in this school. I loved this man. In his class,
we didn’t read the Jewish novels—I’m not sure I knew there was such a thing as
a Jewish novel because the line dividing our day would have kept those two
words apart as well. That divide existed in me as well; in that English class I
felt alive, awake in a way that I didn’t all afternoon when some part of my
mind, and my self, shut itself off.
Somewhere during one of those high school years, I read The Scarlet Letter. Here was blustery New England; here were other
people’s rules which were so strict that they made my own seem giddily
free-spirited. The distance from that world to mine: here was escape. Suddenly
I could be here and yet not here. It didn’t matter, at least not quite as much,
that I was in a school of 18 girls, six in my class, most of whom I’d known
since nursery school; it didn’t matter as much that I was already feeling an
exhilarating, terrifying restlessness and curiosity that I tried to hide as
best I could.
But I have to think that I loved this book not just for its distance to my world but also for its proximity.
Hester Prynne, I felt like I knew her. Here, finally, was the experience of
someone living inside such strict laws, bound by them, marked by them. Here, in
no uncertain terms, was the punishment for sin. When Hester wears the
embroidered A on her chest, “every gesture, every word, and even the silence of
those with whom she came in contact implied, and even expressed, that she was
banished, and as much alone as if she inhabited another sphere.” Yet, as
anguished as she feels by this treatment, Hester’s sin doesn’t diminish her but
rather, it almost sustains her, expanding her capacity for understanding. “She
shuddered to believe, yet could not help believing, that it gave her a
sympathetic knowledge of the hidden sins in other hearts.” Marked as a sinner,
cast out from communal life, she can now peer past the protestations of piety
into the private compartments of other people’s hearts. Upon passing a revered
minister or magistrate, “the red infamy upon her breast would give a
sympathetic throb.” Or upon passing “a young maiden,” “the electric thrill
would give her warning—Behold, Hester, here is a companion.”
Hester is right to shudder at this newfound ability to recognize other people’s
sins. Along with this ability to see, to really see, comes a loss of faith, and
this, Hawthorne declares, is “ever one of the saddest results of sin.” Yet,
this knowledge also opens up the possibility for human compassion and
extraordinary empathy, a fact which even the stern townspeople come to
begrudgingly appreciate about her as she tends to the sick and aids the poor.
“The letter was the symbol of her calling. Such helpfulness was found in
her,—so much power to do, and power to sympathize,—that many people refused to
interpret the scarlet A by its original signification. They said that it meant
Able.” Hester knows that she is not alone in her sin; perhaps in looking at
her, the townspeople know that neither are they alone in theirs.
When I finished reading The Scarlet
Letter, I wrote the mandatory book report on it, which I was young enough
to turn in to my teacher in a folder I decorated with a red felt A, trimmed in
gold ric-rac. I was only at the very beginning of my own religious questioning,
only at the beginning of my own awareness of the more complicated stories
lurking behind the protestations of infallible piety that I heard all around
me. But I think that even then, I was also old enough to understand sin and
fear and communal norms, old enough to understand the danger of standing out
and the fact that women paid the price. I was old enough to wonder if
revelation really did take place in the sky, if sin could eat you alive, if the
community always spoke the word of God.